


could've been us

by jennycaakes



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Graduation, Happy Ending, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Finale, Reminiscing, background nurseydex, background olliewicks, background zimbits, idk their ship name oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:21:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23607490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennycaakes/pseuds/jennycaakes
Summary: Ollie and Wicks. Jack and Bitty. Nursey and Dex.Justin and Adam visit Samwell for Bitty's graduation (among other things) and Justin finds himself wondering where he and Adam missed a step.—Canon compliant/post-canon holsom to soothe your soul
Relationships: Adam "Holster" Birkholtz/Justin "Ransom" Oluransi
Comments: 78
Kudos: 409





	could've been us

**Author's Note:**

> CAN Y'ALL BELIEVE CHECK PLEASE IS REALLY OVER i can't i'm so sad i love them all so so so so much but i'm also so grateful for this comic and this fandom and all the joy that it's given me. i wrote this holsom thing because i love my boys!!!! so goddamn much!!!! and i'm glad ngozi left it open for us to take the reigns and shove those two boys together eventually. here's my shoving. hope you like it!
> 
> <3
> 
> contains quotes from the comic // spoilers for the end of the comic of course!
> 
> ps just realized i don't know if ollie/wicks are actually dmen???? oh well (made slight edits!!!!)

Justin finds him in the attic. 

He’s not surprised, really. Adam’s secretly very sentimental and they spent some of the best years of their lives in that tiny room. He hears Adam’s booming voice before he can even reach the stairwell. His chest feels tight in the way that memories ache but he’s trying not to read too much into it, instead focusing on the reason they’re back at Samwell to begin with. 

Bitty’s graduating. (And Jack’s proposing, but that’s later.)

Adam’s laughing about something with Ollie and Wicks and Justin takes the climb two at a time so he can join them. They transformed the room after getting dibs and it’s probably for the better—but they’re preparing to leave now and the room is once more full of packed boxes, the walls nearly bare. Ollie and Wicks are both lounging on the edge of the mattress while Adam leans back near the door, an easy grin on his face when Justin arrives. 

“There he is,” Ollie greets. 

Justin smiles, looking around the room that used to be his own. It doesn’t feel the same in a million ways—a different color on the walls, a new chandelier, the bunk bed is long gone—but with Adam by his side a sense of familiarity lingers. 

“Who’d you give the room to?” Justin asks. 

“Ford,” the two men both answer at the same time. Ollie and Wicks lean into one another sharing a dopey smile that makes Justin’s chest clench with heat. He glances toward Adam but the other man feels farther away than he expects. 

Justin isn’t sure how to feel about a room where two generations of hockey men absolutely loving each other goes to the team manager instead, but he supposes not all traditions are ones that can actually be carried on. Besides, Ford is great, and she deserves it. 

“But some people think it won’t be long before Tango moves in too,” Wicks adds. 

Adam tips his head to the side as though thinking about this. “Are they…?”

“No one knows,” Ollie answers.

Well that's fitting. Maybe the tradition isn’t hockey dudes then, just two people who could be together or might not be together and the rest of the world has to guess. 

“And are you two…” Wicks trails off, then stops. “How’ve you been?”

Justin knows what he’s asking. 

Seeing Ollie and Wicks together in their old room, _really_ together… 

They could’ve had that. It could’ve been Justin and Adam easily. They could’ve taken the leap and made it _real_ and gotten rid of the bunkbed and been together. Really together, like Ollie and Wicks. 

But they’re not together. They never have been.

It fucking hurts. 

“You know how it is,” Adam eventually offers. “Working all the time.”

“I’ve started looking more into med school shit,” Justin adds, and the men on the bed nod. “Where’ll you two go next, eh?” 

“Mm…” Ollie looks over to Wicks and again they share a look that Justin longs for. It’s filled with love and warmth and Justin knows that Ollie and Wicks are happy. “We bought a house.”

“Graduation present,” Wicks says with a shrug. "You'll get a housewarming invite eventually."

Ollie lights up when he adds, “And we’ve got a New Zealand trip planned in July. For something else.”

“Chyeah,” Adam says with a grin. “That’s fucking rad, dudes.”

Justin catches what Adam doesn’t. “What’s the something else?” he asks slyly. 

Ollie and Wicky trade another smile before Ollie says, “We’re keeping the ceremony small, so don’t be offended that you didn’t get invited.” 

They’re getting married.

“No way,” Adam bursts. “What! When?”

“Next weekend,” Wicks answers. “It’s just a small courthouse thing, but our parents insisted on it.”

“We’d already have done it by now if they weren’t so pressed waiting until after graduation,” Ollie adds. 

Justin doesn’t know what to say. “That’s amazing,” he settles with, finding his best smile. Because it’s true—it is amazing—but there’s a piece of it that he’s struggling to accept. “Guys—congrats, like, damn!”

“Yeah, well, thanks for the room,” Ollie says. “Seriously helped us save a fuckton of money so we could do it all the way we wanted.” 

They talk about logistics a little bit more but it’s getting harder and harder for Justin to pay attention. Instead his gaze drifts back to Adam, studying his profile as they listen to their friends detail their future together. 

Eventually they say they should get back to packing and Adam and Justin apologize for holding them up. They trade hugs and well wishes before casting one last view at the attic for a while and making their way back down the steps. They’re running behind themselves, they find, and neither of them speak on their way out of the Haus. They pass through the kitchen without sparing much of a second glance before heading outside. 

“You’ve been quiet,” Adam says once they’re on their way. The actual ceremony was earlier, but it's been a long day since and bound to be longer still.

Justin shrugs. “Being back at Samwell makes me…” he trails off, and Adam pauses. Instead of letting the silence be the answer Justin can tell that he wants a real one, a proper explanation as to why he isn’t being himself. “It makes me miss Samwell,” Justin settles with. 

Adam nods in easy understanding. “I know, man. Me too.” 

But it isn’t just Samwell that Justin misses, and as much as he wants to tell Adam he misses what _they_ had in college he doesn’t think it’s the right time. They’re not here for them, they’re here for Bitty and Jack, here to celebrate Dex, here to cheer for Lardo as she proves she can skate circles on the ice. 

With graduation came Haus 2.0 and separate rooms, and with that literal wall a new one formed in their friendship. Almost immediately they weren’t as open as they had been when they were forced together in the attic. It wasn’t intentional, at least Justin doesn’t think so, but coming home at the end of the day and crashing in their own beds sometimes felt more important than being together. Besides, they still worked together, even if often on separate projects (like the separate rooms) which meant someone would always have to stay late and end up on a separate train and— 

It’s not college, anyway. It’s not what it was. 

Adam grabs his hand as though he can hear him thinking and squeezes once. “We’re _old_ now, Ransy,” he says. 

Justin’s heart cracks, his chest flooding with warmth as he smiles. “ _You’re_ old,” he chirps. “I’m ageless.”

“Fuck you,” Adam laughs.

“You’ll be buying boxed hair dye by the end of the year to hide your grays,” he adds, only dragging out Adam’s laughter.

“I’ll look sexy as fuck as a silver fox and you know it.” They elbow each other a little before Adam adds, “It’s not fair that you’re the most beautiful man to exist.”

Justin shrugs again, ignoring this rush of affection instead to say, “Black don’t crack.”

They carry on forward in comfortable silence, Justin’s ache from earlier already fading. It’s easy to be by Adam’s side back at Samwell, slip back into younger versions of themselves. 

“I’m glad we gave them the room,” Adam eventually says, and Justin’s chest restricts in a breath. 

“Me too,” he agrees quietly. 

If he and Adam couldn’t have been together in the attic when they shared it, at least someone could. 

They meet up with the Frogs before making their way over to Faber who are all waiting by the lake to be retrieved. Chowder is practically vibrating with excitement but both Nursey and Dex have a calmness to them that Justin can’t say he was really expecting. 

They all trade hugs and Justin watches as Dex and Nursey drift back to one another’s side once they’ve finished. Normally Chowder would station himself between the two of them but to watch them knock shoulders as they walk is almost comforting. 

“How was the end of the semester for you three?” Justin asks, and off they launch, ranting about classes and rehashing the details of their win. 

At some point the subject shifts to next year and Dex shrugs a little, suddenly tense. “I can’t think about it yet,” he admits. “I’m trying to live in the high of the win and the honor of becoming captain and not let any future pressure ruin the moment.”

“Wow,” Adam says. “Impressive to hear coming from you.” 

“Captaincy looks good on him,” Nursey hums easily. Dex rolls his eyes and shakes his head but there’s a fondness here that lingers in his smile. “Don’t you think?”

“You’re going to be fucking awesome, Dex,” Justin tells him.

Dex’s smile grows. They’ve been celebrating all day in so many ways but the captain legacy being passed on feels different. It was such an honor to leave the team with Bitty, and Justin knows Bitty likely feels the same leaving the team with Dex. He’s grown so much over the past few years and Justin can’t wait to see how far SMH goes in the new season. 

“He was actually surprised,” Nursey carries on. 

“We don’t need to tell the story again,” Dex murmurs, ears turning red as he does so.

“Yes we do,” Adam chimes in.

“We haven’t heard it!” Justin agrees. 

Dex folds his arms over his chest lightly. “It’s not even a _good_ story.”

“Yes it is,” Nursey pushes. “They called out Will’s name at the banquet and he literally spit out his punch.”

Dex knocks Nursey with his elbow who knocks him back while Adam and Chowder hoot with laughter. “I was surprised,” Dex tells them, “okay?”

“Spit out your punch surprised?” Nursey asks. 

“And why were you drinking punch during the announcement anyway?” Chowder teases. 

“It blows my mind. Who else could it have been, dude?”

Justin likes being in this space of easy comfortability between Nursey and Dex. It’s new and warm in ways he hasn’t seen before between the two of them which is exciting. All smiles traded between them seem like they’ve got longer stories to tell. 

“Literally anyone,” Dex returns.

“Ford got it on video,” Nursey tells Justin with a wink. 

Dex starts ranting about how no one’s ever going to see that video while Nursey looks on with that same fond smile from earlier. Justin turns to find Chowder watching them too, and when he spots Justin his smile only grows. He nods as if to say, _yeah, that’s happening_ , and Justin shakes his head in disbelief. 

He never thought he’d see the day. 

The closer they get to Faber the more he believes it. Dex’s laughter comes more easily than Justin ever remembers it, and it’s almost always in response to something stupid that Nursey’s said. He’s brighter and has more bounce in his step and Justin’s positive it isn’t just about the captaincy. 

They listen to Dex talk about his bungalow and Nursey reminds him to tell them about _this_ secret panel or _that_ heated floor and Justin knows that Chowder’s right—it’s happening between them. Nursey and Dex are on their way toward something more than friends. 

They’re nearly there when the Frogs fall behind and Adam and Justin fall into step with one another again. Justin slides his hands into his back pockets as to not tempt himself with reaching for Adam’s. 

He remembers the feeling that came with winning the C—with being able to split it with Adam. Justin had been so convinced that Adam would get it that he was surprised too like Dex must’ve been. First was the thrill of Adam actually getting it—he’d been so excited for him in the moment—and the shock that followed when they said his name next still settles in his ribcage from time to time. He thinks of the nights that Adam sat across from him with his head in his hands saying _I couldn’t do this without you_. He thinks of the plays that they came up with together that scored them points and won them games. Justin remembers the joy that followed them around after every victory, simply because they were able to claim it together.

“I think if you’d had punch in your mouth when they called your name,” Adam says, “you probably would’ve spit it out too.”

Justin ducks his head to hide his smile. “I was thinking about that. Or well, that year in general. As captains.” 

“I’m so fucking glad it was us, man.” He shakes his head before adding, “Glad it was _you_.” 

“We’re always better together,” Justin tells him. They always have been, and he knows they always will be. 

With Faber finally in view Justin’s thoughts shift to where they’re headed. 

They’ve known for weeks now about Jack’s proposal plan. 

They haven’t talked about it, really, but every time Justin starts talking about the concept of marriage with Adam simply in the same room his throat gets tight and his hands sweat—even though it’s not about them at all. 

But these past few weeks, ever since Jack let them in on what he’s been planning for such a long time, Justin’s felt out of sorts. He’s excited for Jack and Bitty and the future that they get to build together but he can’t help but feel like he himself has missed a step somewhere in all of this. 

Adam doesn’t bring up the engagement either, which has to mean something but Justin can’t be sure what. 

They spot Shitty and Lardo waiting just outside Faber like they’d agreed upon earlier and all of a sudden, Justin’s nervous. He knows that Bitty’ll say yes. He knows that it’ll be an overwhelmingly wonderful moment for his friends, but there's a spike in his anxiety here he can’t shake. Shitty and Lardo lead the way inside but Justin’s steps fumble.

“Holtz,” he rasps, and Adam stops at once. He doesn’t know if Adam can hear the hitch in his voice or if he’s been waiting for a moment like this but without hesitation he grabs Justin’s hand and tugs him aside just before they enter the building. 

Chowder and Nursey and Dex all pass them but Adam waves them in, and it isn’t until they’re completely alone does Justin manage to take a shaky breath. 

Being at Faber in general is tough. It makes Justin think of the late nights he and Adam spent here, the way the two of them draped themselves over the couch as they planned, or the way they’d sneak into the locker rooms to decompress after long days.

There was hardly a time that Justin was at Faber without Adam by his side—and that isn’t any different now. 

Adam gathers up Justin’s hands like earlier and lifts them to his chest so Justin can feel the steady beat of Adam’s heart. Slow inhales, slow exhales, neither of them have even said anything but Adam’s always known what Justin’s needed. He closes his eyes and tries to let Adam’s presence overpower his own, to surrender to the feeling of another person holding him. 

“I got you,” Adam whispers. 

Faber, like the attic, could have easily been another _place_ in their story too. Like it will be, for Bitty and Jack. Like it already is. 

Justin drops his forehead to Adam’s shoulder. “Do you ever think some things mean more to you than they mean to everyone else?” he murmurs back. 

“Sure,” Adam says. “All the time. That’s just life, Rans.” 

_You mean more to me than everyone else_ , Justin wants to say. It sits in the base of his throat and taunts him for his fear. Justin loves this man more than he knows what to do with himself. He pulls back so they can look at each other and Adam’s eyes are clear and shining. 

“Let’s go inside,” he decides. “We don’t wanna miss this.”

“No fucking way,” Adam agrees with a grin. 

They sneak in quietly and get there just in time to watch Jack lift Bitty over his head. Lardo snaps a few photos and they all crouch down and when Jack starts his speech, Justin feels his own heart pounding in his chest. 

It’s beautiful, and it’s perfect for the two of them. Lardo reaches for Shitty’s hand, and Justin watches Nursey and Dex shift closer to one another, but his thoughts remain grounded on Adam. 

“...And I used to think my life would start after I graduated,” Jack says from where he stands on the ice, “but it didn’t. It started here, and it started with you, Bitty.”

Justin looks toward Adam and finds that Adam’s already looking at him. When their eyes meet they share a smile, small and muted, like a secret passed between them. 

_You’re my story_ , Justin thinks. 

With Adam in so many ways, he echoes Jack’s sentiment. He doesn’t know if his life really began until he had Adam by his side. Since they met that first day at practice it’s like the whole world has been full of sharper colors and clearer breaths. 

But Jack and Bitty have built up to this. Everyone’s watched their story twine together and grow stronger over these past few years. They’ve reached another peak on one of the many beautiful mountains they’ve climbed in their relationship and still Justin and Adam remain at the base of the mountain without any climbing gear and Justin doesn’t know _why_. 

The only reason Justin looks away from Adam is because Bitty literally faints. Lardo stops them all from flinging themselves onto the ice and moments later Bitty’s blinking himself awake. 

“ _YES!!_ ” Bitty shouts his answer before he and Jack say again and again, _I love you, I love you_. 

Cheers ring out from where they’re standing, the group of them no longer able to keep quiet. Justin’s hand finds a place on Adam’s back and Adam’s loud voice fills the rink as he shouts, “Let’s go Jack and Bitty!” 

“Grab the gear,” Shitty tells them before swinging himself out on the ice. He helps Lardo over the wall once he’s over himself and Justin and Adam are right behind them. They skate out for celebrations and hugs and there’s laughter and cheer flooding Faber like never before and still Justin feels a step behind it all, removed.

Adam ends up on Jack’s team for pick-up and Justin’s on Bitty’s and being back on the ice with these people, his team, is both emotionally rewarding and exhausting at the same time. 

And then it’s over.

* * *

The drive back to Haus 2.0 isn’t any more quiet than any other trip, and if anything it’s easy to blame it on exhaustion. It was a long day. 

Adam drives and Justin spends the trip either looking out the window or watching Adam’s face light up red from the brakelights of other cars. They laugh about the events of the day and talk about what kind of food they want to order when they get home because there’s no way they’re cooking and that’s it. It’s just going to be another day. 

But Justin doesn’t want it to just be another day. Everyone else is getting their moments—getting _married_. For fuck’s sake, he should be able to tell his best friend how he feels without needing it to feel like a chapter in his life is ending. 

Finally they get home and when Adam kills the engine they sit in the car for a moment too long. Justin’s thinking _say something_ again and again but his mouth remains shut and eventually they both climb out of the car without any confessions traded between them. 

Inside Adam starts the takeout order on his phone before passing it to Justin to add what he wants as well and then heads downstairs to change. Whether it’s coincidental or not but Adam leaves the app up exactly on what Justin wants to add to the cart. When Adam gets back in sweats Justin returns his phone and then sinks backwards on the couch, exhausted. 

“You want a beer?” Adam calls as he enters the kitchen.

“Yeah, man.” 

Justin sits up to catch the beer that Adam tosses to him from the doorway before returning to the kitchen but he knows drinking it won’t do much to dull the thoughts he’s been having all day. As he cracks it open he gets a Snapchat from Nursey that he opens unthinkingly. 

The caption reads: _thus begins my 12 step plan for this asshole to fall in Big Love with me_

Justin watches the video slowly zoom in on Dex laughing from across the room and he closes the snap. After a deep sigh he takes a few swigs of the beer and then stands from the couch, quickly striding into the kitchen.

“Holtz.”

Adam’s unloading the dishwasher. It’s his turn on the chore wheel and Justin knows he meant to do it before they left this morning but they were worried about getting a good parking spot and just wanted to leave. 

“Rans,” he returns in the same voice. 

No more fucking around. He has to know.

“Did we miss our chance?” Justin asks. Adam pauses with a plate halfway to the cabinet and turns to look at him, eyebrows furrowed. “Or did _I_ …?” he amends, because he can’t saddle Adam with the blame if they really have missed it. Justin could’ve been braver, sooner. Should’ve been. 

Adam shakes his head. “What do you mean?” 

He doesn’t know how Adam doesn’t see it—or, maybe that’s the issue, maybe he can’t. “Ollie and Wicks and—Jack and Bitty and now even Nursey and Dex…” Justin trails off, wishing he were less afraid. Still, he knows he has to do this now. “We could’ve been _any_ of them, Holtz.” Justin turns away as he carries on, thinking of the stories that they could’ve told if they had taken different chances. “ _Together_ in that room. Proposing _on the ice_. Even just…” he laughs a little, needing it to loosen the fear around his heart. “Even just very glaringly _different_ like Derek and Will are since he got the C like—fuck, I don’t know, Adam. It’s like we’ve been waiting for something big to happen and there’s nothing else left to happen so we’re just here.” 

Adam stands there, lips parted slightly in shock, before he turns and finishes putting the dish away without words. After one dish he turns back to Justin and looks at him again, eyes wide as he studies him in more silence. He starts like he’s going to say something but then stops, reaching down to the dishwasher to grab another dish to return to the cabinet with his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

Justin doesn’t know what this feeling inside of him is but it’s loose and it comes out as a laugh. “Adam!” Adam looks up to him again, eyes wide. “Am I wrong?”

His response is immediate, “No!” 

He looks at the dishwasher like he’s going to grab another plate and Justin makes a warning noise before Adam looks up again. “Stop that!”

“Fuck! I don’t know—I mean it’s like—why would we wanna be any of them when we’re already us? But it’s because they’re doing it. They’re really—“ he looks between him and Justin and lets out a little sigh. “You’re my best friend,” Adam rasps, and Justin’s eyes immediately well up with tears. “I’ve known for _years_ that I would spend my entire life loving you.” Justin leans backwards against the counter and grips it for stability, trying not to let himself crumble under the weight of this confession. “But you’re right, I feel like we’ve just been waiting for something to change but what else has to change when I already feel this way?” 

“I fucking love you,” Justin croaks. 

Adam’s still looking at him in disbelief. “Are you serious?” 

Justin thinks of all the times he could’ve said something before, the moments that might’ve shaped their story. Mornings in bed in the Haus wound around one another when it could’ve been whispered between them, or late nights at Faber pouring over plays for games together. The night they won their shared captaincy and walked to the lake to celebrate. The days following Justin’s confession of not being able to leave Adam once they all graduated. Justin remembers a car ride where he was tempted, a brunch where they shared a coffee, a shared train ride to work where it jolted and Adam caught him before he fell, and—

“How could I be anything but serious?” Justin rasps. 

There’s only silence for a moment before Adam’s face shifts and a grin overtakes it, so wide that Justin worries it will split his face. “Justin!” he bursts. “I’m in love with you!” 

Whatever's gone loose inside of him starts acting up again—Justin starts laughing. He does the only thing he can think to do, repeating Adam’s name back to him another time if only because he wants to hear it. 

Adam closes the distance between them practically bouncing on his heels. He reaches for Justin, hands stretching like he’s going to gently cradle Justin’s cheeks, before he stops and drops his hands back to his sides. His eyes are wide and wet and Justin doesn’t know why Adam didn’t pull him close—so he reaches forward himself and rests his hands on Adam’s hips, tugging him the last bit of distance. 

In a moment everything has changed, and still nothing has changed at all. “So what now?” Justin asks. 

“I’m gonna—“ Adam lifts his hands to cup Justin’s cheeks anyway before he kisses him. 

What the hell were they thinking? There’s _so_ much left to still happen. There’s this, again and again and again. There’s Bitty and Jack’s wedding—and Lardo and Shitty _won’t_ be too far behind, no matter how untraditionally they’re planning to do it. There’ll be another round of graduations at Samwell next year. There’s going to be surprise memories here and meaningful moments there and it doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s story because it’s their own. 

When Adam pulls back they share a smile that lets loose a whole slew of static in Justin’s chest, like fireworks have started going off with no intent to end anytime soon. In no time Justin’s kissing him again, their hands shifting to pull one another closer in any way that they can manage. In that they stumble a little, Adam knocking his ankle on the corner of the door to the dishwasher as they do so.

“Fuck,” he mutters as they pull back again. 

Justin laughs. “I’ll help you finish,” he promises. Adam kisses him another time before they really break apart, moving to the dishwasher so they can finish unloading it together. There’s silence between them as they move but the kind that’s pulled taut with hot tension—every moment their eyes meet Justin’s smile grows. 

Before they get the last of the silverware away there’s a knock at the door with their delivery order. Justin finishes with the dishes while Adam rushes to answer it. Alone in the kitchen, he laughs. Justin lifts his hands to his face and presses his fingers into his eyes and tries to wake himself up from a dream just because he has to be _completely_ sure.

He closes up the dishwasher and joins Adam at the table for food and nothing has changed but everything is different and Justin’s never going to be able to stop smiling. 

They wolf down their meal while talking about different times they thought about making moves in the past, laughing when they find a few occasions when they both changed their mind rather than berating themselves. 

“The night Jack won the cup,” is one that Adam offers, “and they kissed on national television. I was like the fuck? I can do that.”

“Or that same night at the party after Bitty brought over that strawberry pie just for us after we were already so drunk.”

“Oh—fuck yes,” Adam agrees. “You had some on the corner of your mouth for like half an hour it was driving me fucking crazy.”

And Ransom adds, “After we were knocked out of playoffs. And Shitty brought by some of that dank weed and he and Lardo went God knows where so it was just you and me on the roof.”

Adam nods like he remembers. 

He also offers, “Graduation day. Your tie matched my eyes.”

“You’re insane,” Justin laughs.

“But not wrong!”

Once they finish eating Adam offers a very compelling argument for making out on the couch consisting of “it’s right here” and “if we’re not making out in the next five minutes I _will_ die” but still Justin persists, wanting to drag Adam down to one of their rooms. He wants to be able to close a door and allow himself look at Adam the way he’s meant to be looked at without worrying someone could walk in. They know that Shitty and Lardo are staying near Samwell another night but neither of them can be sure where their other roommate is. 

Eventually Adam caves and they end up in his room (it’s closer than Justin’s), Adam pinned down beneath Justin on the mattress. His glasses have already been set aside and his hair is stiff from what he wore in it earlier but Justin works his fingers through it until it softens again. His smile is wide and reckless as Justin kisses his way across Adam’s jaw, down his throat. 

They take their time. 

What starts with laughter and smiles so big they can’t quite kiss the way they want to easily slips into desperate touches, hands on one another’s backs, breathy pleas for more. Justin knows Adam in the dark; after years of getting deets he knows where Adam likes to be touched and where he’d rather be bit, where he wants to feel the scrape of Ransom’s stubble or his calloused fingers against his skin. He unravels him until Adam’s whole chest is red and his words slur together to mean nothing and everything at once. 

* * *

In the morning, they’re in the kitchen cooking breakfast when Shitty and Lardo get back. They make a racket as they stumble in, their bags hitting everything as they enter, and Shitty’s grumbling the whole time about how bad he has to piss. 

“Fuck, Shits, just leave your bag and _go_ ,” Lardo eventually says, and after a thump and some wild footsteps, he’s gone. She pokes her head into the kitchen with an exhausted smile. “What a trip, huh?”

“Tell me about it,” Justin muses.

“You want a pancake?” Adam asks from the stove. 

“Two, please,” Lardo answers. She returns to drag hers and Shitty’s bags to their room, and soon after they both emerge together. “I’m just saying if you started drinking more water more regularly again your bladder wouldn’t nearly explode every time you—“

“Ugh, alright, Lards,” Shitty groans, “I’ll get a reusable water bottle, fuck.”

“That’s all I ask dude.” While Lardo settles at the nearest seat at the kitchen table Shitty makes himself a cup of coffee. “How were your nights?” she asks. 

“'Swawesome,” Adam answers as he flips a pancake. 

“Holtz and I finally made out,” Justin explains. 

“Ooh, _fuck_ yes,” Shitty hoots while Adam grins at them all over his shoulder. “Everything’s coming up Shitty!” 

“Feels like everything’s coming up Holster,” Adam corrects. Beneath the table, Lardo nudges Justin with her foot and offers him a gentle smile. “Chocolate chips in these pancakes, yeah?”

“Brah, I can’t believe you even have to ask.” 

Once Adam finishes cooking and they all settle down at the table together, Justin looks around at these people who he loves so dearly and finally understands that nothing’s ended at all. They get to keep waking up every day for the rest of their lives making memories, each better than the last, and they get to do it together. 

“You should see the video we got of Jack and Bitty’s lift,” Lardo says around a mouthful of pancakes.

“Ohhh, _man_ ,” Shitty says. “No. Can’t watch that shit again I’m so sick of crying.”

Justin laughs into his coffee. “I wanna see,” he tells Lardo.

Once Lardo gets it ready everyone moves their seats to crowd around her, Shitty included, and together they watch Jack and Bitty skate around Faber with Bitty in Jack’s arms. From how they were sitting Adam was able to stay in his chair and Justin stands behind him, resting his hands on his shoulders gently just as a reminder that he’s here. 

Shitty swats at his eyes from where he stands behind Lardo. “Fucking beautiful,” he rasps as the video ends.

Adam turns his head, nuzzling his forehead against Justin’s arm just because he can. “We should totally try and recreate it for their wedding,” Adam murmurs thoughtfully, which only makes Justin laugh. 

“I’m in,” Justin answers. “But dibs on being lifted.” 

“Deal.” 

**Author's Note:**

> giving y'all hugs. find me on twitter/tumblr @jennybeantime and leave some love if you can! <3


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